I learned years ago how important it is for us solo parents to have “allies”, especially moms. An “ally” is someone/an authority figure who holds your children to the same expectations/values as you. I’ve been blessed with Head teachers, class teachers, their friends’ moms/dads, an older couple, friends, etc, as “allies” over the years.
This Christmas, Santa was my ally!
We did our usual traditions of prayer, hanging our ornaments, the Bible Reading, etc. Then instead of going out, I had us all gather around after Christmas Lunch and watch family videos from over the years. We watched Preschool recitals, Hoikuen (Japanese Daycare/Afterschool care) open days, Christmas Pageants, Sports days, silly outings, graduations. It was fun to see how far we had come as a family and for the boys to see how big they had grown themselves!
In addition, I added a major new family tradition. This year, instead of presents under our tree, I got an SMS from Santa (yes I know him like that!) asking us to write each other LoveNotes™ with 3 themes:
1. Apologize: “This year, I have hurt you in some way. I’m sorry, will you please forgive me?”
2. Forgive: “When you did...that hurt me, and I forgive you...”
3. Appreciate: “It makes me happy when you do... “ or “The other day you did ..., it made me super happy! I appreciate you.”
End with an “I love you”. Sign, envelope, and place under the tree on Christmas Eve and voila, a new Christmas tradition is born!
PS: Santa left us this note!
“Thank you for the lovely letters. I will keep them - for now.
Your gifts this year are YOU:
You are family. LOVE is the greatest gift. Love one another this year. And I will see you next year!
Ho! Ho!! Ho!!!
What family traditions/memories have you built over the years? Did you do something new this year?
Shout out to all solo moms & dads! You’re awesome? Who have been your allies? Send them some love and appreciation. Send them a LoveNote.
How can you be an ally? Who in your life is raising kids solo, and how can you support them as an ally?
And to you my allies, my Angels: Thank you.